Honoring the Ancestors

Today's new moon marks the last day of Pitru Paksha, a two-week period dedicated to honoring the ancestors in Vedic tradition. While specific rituals vary by community, the common intention is to remember and make offerings to "nourish" our ancestors, to acknowledge their contributions to our lives, and to offer our gratitude. 

This tradition recognizes the fact that we owe our lives to our parents, grandparents, and the family members who have gone before us. Rituals of remembrance are a way to honor their lives and the wisdom they earned. As someone raised in a culture with relatively little ancestor worship and a great deal of aversion to death, I feel a balancing measure of comfort and "rightness" and in this annual remembrance.

Pitru means “ancestors” in Sanskrit (like the Latin root, Pater), and Paksha refers to a two-week fortnight. Pitru Paksha is observed during the fortnight immediately following the Full Moon of the Hindu lunar month Bhādrapāda, which usually falls around September/October. This year, Pitru Paksha ends on today’s new moon, and it's considered the most powerful day of the fortnight to make our offerings.

One traditional ritual is called Tarpana, which comes from the Sanskrit root meaning "to nourish." In this ceremony, offerings are made to each deceased ancestor in one’s blood lineage for whom you know a name. Two years ago, I wrote a blog post about a simplified version of this ritual you can do, if you feel so inspired - you can read about it here.

Here is an even more accessible ritual you can do today: collect a photo of each of your ancestors, and place them on a table or altar. Offer fresh flowers, and perhaps a food item that person particularly loved. Place a bowl of pure water for their "nourishment." Say each ancestor's full name aloud and if you wish, you can articulate what you wish for them - comfort, contentment, rest, nourishment. Remember their presence in your life. Enjoy the moments of reflection. When you are done, take the water bowl outside and empty it at the roots of a plant.

Expressing gratitude through ritual can feel profoundly meaningful, even if it has not been part of our family or personal tradition. For the past several years, I have been observing Pitru Paksha with a simple Tarpana ritual shared with me by some of my teachers (see below for more details). I usually go to a small creek near my house carrying the necessary ingredients, but this year I am in India, so I have just completed the process right here in the house where I am.

Naming each of my ancestors, making an offering for their happiness, and wishing them satisfaction transcends my typical experience of time - I feel their presence again in my own heart, which is itself comforting. It feels good to honor their memory and their passing, and by extension to bring my own temporary status in this body into my awareness.

For those of us who may not know many details about some of our ancestors, this can be a way to forge a sense of relationship and to acknowledge their contributions that we may not even know about, which have nonetheless played a part in our existence today. We can draw strength from them and offer gratitude, which nourishes both the giver and receiver.

For those of us who have complex or contentious relationships with those who have passed, honoring our ancestors can be a way to create peace, both for them and for ourselves. We can pray for comfort, that we might feel forgiveness, and that we might one day live into a greater sense of resolution. In this way, our offerings can contribute to generational healing. We can ask for divine support in healing our own hurts and those of the souls who came before us.

May all beings find deep nourishment and satisfaction.